If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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