Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
