sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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