Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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