Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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