Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
im six kinds of drunk right now
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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