She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
17 year olds will be the death of me.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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