So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
