Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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