Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
