i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
