erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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