so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
