College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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