the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
