You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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