she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
