omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
