Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
