found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
