I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
