There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
