and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
