Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
