If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
