I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
