so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
