carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
