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Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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