Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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