You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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