I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
