I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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