Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
