we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
