At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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