I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
