so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Oh god it's open bar.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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