Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
