I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
