im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize