New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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