you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
