So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
