I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
