Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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