Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
