u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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