I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
