went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
